The Dave Vinci Code
‘If there is Alien life, do they worship the same God as we do?’’
Ah, religion. Where do I start?
I believe that Jesus existed though I firmly believe that he was an extraordinary, but normal, man. He had some amazing ideas and was very enigmatic, told a good story and people listened and followed. I believe from what I have read that he was married, probably to Mary Magdalene. If that sounds like the Da Vinci code, wash your mouth out. I read the Holy Blood and the Holy Grail and around thirty other books giving contrary opinions. I also read about the council of Nicea and Constantine turning Jesus from a normal man to a Holy man and labelling Mary Magdalene a prostitute to distance Jesus from her. I have also read the Gnostic gospels, the ones removed from the Bible we know today. So what about the miracles? Well… There was no TV, radio or newspapers in those days so all you had to rely on was word of mouth and, in some cases, word of mouth with translation thrown in. Jesus got a group of followers together, the disciples, and they were his right hand men. He travelled around speaking and preaching his beliefs. People liked him, trusted him, believed him and then followed him. That’s all. That’s what I think. But the miracles? The other day, in our office block here, the girls in reception said that a woman was having some form of seizure. When Mark, a pal of mine, and I went to have a look, the woman was lying on the floor shaking violently and lashing out. A so-called therapist was sitting on the floor watching her shaking his head: doing nothing. That’s helpful isn\’t it? “She grabbed her throat and collapsed” he told us. I checked her airways, turned her on her side and put her in the recovery position. I got the ‘therapist’ to go and call 999 and tell them a lady is having an epileptic attack. She was shaking violently. I put my hand on her head and whispered in her ear, “Listen to me, hear my voice, calm down, come back to me, listen to me, hear my voice, calm down…” etc. I then did a form of EFT (emotional freedom therapy) on her and started to tap her wrists to slow her down a little. I then held both of her hands and she gradually came round and looked at me. I told her who I was and what I thought had happened and asked her to keep calm. She did. The paramedic team arrived; Mark and I left them to it. If that had happened in Jusus’ day then by the time 50 or more people had passed the story on, it would have become: “There was this woman and she was lying on the floor. Her head had been cut off. Her body was shaking. These two guys appeared out of nowhere, they just appeared. One of them bent down, held her head back on, whispered to her and brought her back to life! Then, bang…they disappeared into thin air. They must have been angels!” That’s all it was in Jesus’ times. He may have done a few wonderful things but they weren\’t miracles as far as I am concerned. Of course, if it could be proved that Jesus wasn’t ‘holy’ and that he didn’t ‘rise from the dead’ and he was married and had descendants then the Christian and certainly the Catholic Church would collapse. The Catholic faith is based on the resurrection and if that one fundamental point could be proved to have never happened; game over. That proof, I think exists and that is what I think the Holy Grail is. The bloodline.
At the council of Nicea it was argued that Christianity, though it was recognised as a faith, could not continue with a woman as the head of the church or even as part of the line of descendant heads. It has only been in the last century that women have been allowed to vote and only in the last twenty years that have we seen female clergy. The only way for Jesus to remain as the head of Christianity would be for him to be immortal (for want of a better word) and the only way to achieve that was to make him holy. He would be the head, eternally.
Saying that, I do have a few questions about the Bible. Nowhere in the Bible does it say anything about prehistoric animals or cavemen and yet we know they existed. Why not? If we are to believe that Adam and Eve were the first two people on earth and they were the beginning then…we are all related! Is that right? God supposedly made the heavens and the earth and then said ‘let there be light. That means he made the heavens and the earth IN THE DARK! Why? If Adam and Eve were the first people on earth who was running around making notes at the time God was creating the heavens and the Earth? So who wrote Genesis then? How did Noah get two of every animal on the Ark when the majority of them were on the other side of the world? SkyNews? How did Moses carry two stone tablets down a mountain without a forklift truck? Why does every film, TV and school nativity have three wise men and yet nowhere in the Bible does it state that there were THREE of them? Where did that come from? Why do the four books of the Bible that depict the crucifixion detail four DIFFERENT accounts? Were they all there or was it word of mouth? Then again…when Moses went up the mountain to get the Ten Commandments the Bible states that there was a lot of noise, like thunder. Could that thunder have been an engine? There was mist, like smoke. Could that smoke have come from the engines? And he came down with red skin like it was burnt,. Could that have been radiation? Hey, perhaps it was a UFO and we are all some aliens experiment? Perhaps the Aliens came back? Will they come again? Where are those lottery numbers?