Words to Use
Little did we know it, when we started to formulate language, we had no idea that what we said to someone effected us as well.
Not only does what we say to someone effect them, it has an effect on us too, as the person saying it. Our vocabulary, the one we reside in most of the time, is a key indicator of our own mindset and system. \”Everyday conversation\” has a different meaning for speakers in a variety of speech communities. In the speech community of my youth (East London \’Cockney\’ working class) I would say that less than 100 words are necessary for survival: \”I am hungry,\” \”I am thirsty,\” etc.
As a teacher/ speaker/ trainer or educator, it is necessary for me to converse on the nature of thought, the definition of various terms (right, wrong, truth, etc.) must be explained at dinner parties and in casual conversation with various Academics and in front of audiences during seminars. A person with a vocabulary of 400 to 500 words would be able to function effectively as a member of society, but would not be able to discuss the idea of writing as internalized social discourse re-externalized.
If your goal is to survive and to earn a living wage, then you could with a vocabulary of 400 words. Working in a specialized field, however, (even if the field is machine operation in a factory) requires specialized terms.
The first line of this post used at least 21 different words. To give you an example of the need for a large specific vocabulary, there are nearly 4900 terms associated specifically with baseball! (A nice fact to trot out at a dinner party!)
Eliminating bad language from our vocabulary is a start. As I said in a previous post, we advocate the removal of vague and disempowering words in the HPT-Transformation seminar. This is because of the effect they have on us and on the people we use them on. We have spent our lives unaware of this. Sometimes, the words we embrace, and use repeatedly, can be the reason we do not get the results we want in life. The words we use can in fact have a negative effect rather than a positive or useful one.
Anything you can communicate about, you can be with-at choice. The words that HPT-Transformation advocate as language that should be in your vocabulary are incredibly useful and important when you are describing something that cannot be contained in a person\’s belief system. What they do is allow people to know that you are not describing what they think you are describing.
Here are a few of the basic and most used: ACKNOWLEDGE:
Recognition of one person by another. Recognition of what another person says. Agreement that you have received what someone has said to you without giving any indication that you agree with it or not. A lot of the time, my response to comments in the seminar, if they are not a specific question, is \”I acknowledge what you are saying.\” or \”I get that, thank you.\”
As in \’Getting your Act together\’, your face to the world. We describe people who have attained transformation as \’people who have their act together\’.
A mutual understanding or arrangement about which it is understood that you will do what you said you would do. An important factor of HPT is the importance of choosing to be responsible for keeping agreements. If you break an agreement you are expected to look at what is in the space between you and fulfilling your agreement. One of the maxims of HPT is: Do what you said you would do, when you said you would do it, how you said you would do it.
Replaces the word \’BUT\’ which is something that should be kicked or slapped. Kick but out of your vocabulary as it has the connotation of \’Precluding\’ something. \’And\’ is far more empowering. Remember, no one wants to hear your \’but\’ go off! APPRECIATE: Far more powerful than \’Thanks\’ or \’Thank you\’. Those just mean you are grateful, you have accepted something, like anything from an Oscar (Thank the Academy) or your change at the checkout (Thanks, bye!) . When we say we appreciate something, as in \’I appreciate your comments\’ we display a connection far deeper than mere gratitude. We look and engage on a deeper level. We see more of what has been given to us. We can stand in front of a work of art and appreciate the effort, the beauty, the talent, the skill and the feeling we get from it. We never merely \’thank\’ a painting. We appreciate it. Conversely we can say \’I don\’t appreciate your comments\’. We never say \’I don\’t \’thank\’ your comments. ASSIST: Aid to another person, coming from the assumption that the other person is responsible and at \’cause\’. It\’s in contrast to \’Help\’ listed in the post of words NOT to use, which puts the recipient at effect. AUTHENTIC/AUTHENTICITY: Being and acting consistent with who you hold yourself out to be for others, and who you hold yourself out to be for yourself. When the person you are when no one is looking is who you are when people are looking.. AUTOPILOT: An automatic response is an unconscious one that we repeat until called on it. Like yawning when others yawn. Like shaking a hand that is held out to us without questioning. Like asking someone if they \’want fries with that\’ when they order a portion of fries. Like driving somewhere and having no memory of the journey when we arrive. BARRIER: Whatever you have that sits between you and you experiencing your own perfection. BELIEF: A truly nonexperiential way of knowing which can prevent you from experiencing (true reality). It is a misconception that prevents you from seeing what\’s going on for real. Usually used as \’Belief System\’ which is just a whole bunch of beliefs. Beliefs in themselves are good, when linked to an experience. My reality, when related to you, becomes a reality to you as it has the benefit of coming from my experience. When you relate my experience to someone else it becomes a mere belief as it contains no component of reality. BUTTONS: Automatic behaviour or \’autopilot responses\’ are triggered when someone \’pushes your buttons\’. CAUSE: Being at the cause of your experience is the polar opposite of being at its effect. When we are the cause of our lives, then we create our own reality and we cannot be at the effect of other reality (powerless, bullied, victimized etc). Once experienced, people gain incredible power over their lives. CHALLENGE: A far more powerful word to use than problem. A challenge is something we can overcome, there is possibility of achievement in a challenge whereas Problem has the air of finality mixed with major issue. Everything negative should be catagorized as a challenge. CHATTER: Those voices in your head that tell you to do things. Make sure they are positive and not negative messages. The voice in your head is called thinking, and the voice is your own. You would not lie to yourself so make your thoughts empowering. CLEAR: Get Clear. Clarify something. remove doubt and the rubble and wreckage that is preventing you from seeing. Be free of doubt, obstruction, obfuscation and restrictions. this is closely related to belief systems which prevent you from getting clear. CONTEXT: HPT creates a context in your life. From a context of where things in your life are arranged in such a way to make you satisfied to an experience of being satisfied RIGHT NOW and organising things in your life around that. A Context is a set of circumstances that form the setting for an event, statement, or idea, and in terms of which it can be fully understood. Most people work from within a contextual framework. Unfortunately, this frame is too limiting for them on a long term basis. Like a comfort zone, unless it is stretched and widened, no growth can take place or be achieved. EFFECT: Literally: \”At the effect of\”. The consequence or outcome of the Cause. When one is at the effect one cannot cause it and therefore feels powerless. One can move from effect to cause by choosing to choose one\’s experience. EXPERIENCE: What HPT-Transformation is all about. Experience, experiential training, the source of reality. FABULOUS: One of the ultimate acknowledgements. Also: Great, Fantastic. GET/GOT: Realizing the the meaning or the significance of a communication or experience. HURDLE: Another positive word to use in place of Problem. Hurdles can be jumped over, climbed or kicked over. If there was a 400m Problem event in the Olympics, every one of the runners would stop after 20 meters at the first problem. The 400m Hurdles is a far better event. INTENT/ INTENTION: Direct relation to getting what you want. the achievement of your goal or experience. LOVE: Acceptance or agreement of the other to be who they are and who they are not. MIND: What we consider ourselves to be right now. \”A linear arrangement of successive moments of now\”. OBSERVATION: The only way to know, other than \’natural knowing\’. ON PURPOSE: How you live your quotidian life: with your eye on the goal. Purposefully. REALITY: Reality is the context in which we work and live but it can be described as an illusion. The only thing that is really real is experience. The test for reality is physicalness. SHARE: Communication of insights, experiences and realizations. SOURCE: Where it ALL comes from. Every river has a source, every idea has a source. The source is the creator of the idea. The source of every idea, thought, question, decision…boils down to you and me. We are our own source. SPACE: From here is not space: that is Distance. From here to the edge of the universe is not space: it is distance. What physicists and astronomers call space is actually distance. Space is where distance exists. We cannot measure space, we can only experience it. When we allow others to be who they are is allowing them space to be. When we are who we really are and we say and think what we really mean then we do so in the space we allow ourselves. TRUTH: Your experience/s. Your experience/ experiences are the ultimate truth in your life. UNCONSCIOUS:
What we are most of the time. On Autopilot. Out to lunch. Unaware. Oblivious. An important HPT maxim is \’If everyone was allowed to say what was exactly on their mind right now, most people would be speechless!\’ Many people drive to work with no recollection of the journey. HPT gives people space to wake up, become conscious, and look at their lives and live them. YADDA YADDA YADDA:
The automatic stuff going on in your head most of the time. A synonym for chatter.
Bottom line: Choose your words carefully. These words are only some of the preferred words in the HPT canon.
We find them to be empowering, motivating, positive and above all else, honest forms of communication
Remember, \’Be Positive\’ may sound like a blood group but its really one of the mental components that help you achieve what you want, and doing what others say can\’t be done.